posted on 17.8.07, at 16:29.

i knowwwwwwwwww i havent been the most hardworking blogger, 'cos my blog's been dead for a whole quart of a year. so the only reason why im blogging like now, prelims season, is really cos i needa get this off my chest.
i needa WHINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE it all out to everyone(or the 2 or 3 people who still visit my blog anyway).
WELL. i shall begin. this exam has been by far(hopefully the furthest), the worst for me.
the papers themselves are murderous, but i think its myself i wanna murder more.
heres why.

tuesday.
physics paper2.
after handing in my scripts.
the invigillator stops somewhere near my place and seemed to be talking to himself.
"must circle the question number meh? who say one."
so i turned to my neighbour puimun and mouthed to her "got options meh".
it was really more of a rhetorical qns cos i really thought the sir was just confused or sth. so i was expecting a smirk or sth from her.
and then puimun"yes, there is! 4 qns choose 3"
OH
MY
GOODNESS
i wanted to bang myself on the table, or run out to the pool and drown myself.
hell, im so bloody stupid i didnt even read the instructions! i actually did all 4 questions, the whole entire paper. so i wasted time doing questions that werent even gonna be counted. i spent the rest of my day lamenting over my dumbness. but thats not the end.

thursday, yesterday.
math paper1.
the morning before the paper , i actually had a nightmare about complex numbers, dont ask me why. i just remember seeing lotsa "i"s. it was freakish, i tellya, to have a nightmare abt a subject. but at least i dont dream abt myself being a chiral carbon or being substituted by nucleophiles right, tephra?haha.
so i had 3 hrs of killer math questions. i thought i was in good time though, cos i managed to finish half an hour earlier to go back and fill in the MANY blanks i left previously.
time's up. i tie up my scripts, clear up my table.
then i closed and flipped my question paper to the back.
HOLY CRAP
there were 3 brand new questions right in my face.

i didnt know what to do, i wanted to scream, i wanted to cry, wanted to tear my hair out;
HOW CAN ANYONE BE SO STUPID!
thats me for u. a dumbass.
as the invigillator came around to collect the scripts, tears welled up in my eyes but i was too shocked by myself to cry. i added up all the marks but it only made me feel a whole lot worse, cos it was 28. 28 marks out of 100. wonderful.
i dont know why but it didnt even occur to me to flip the darn question paper to the back. everyone asked me why didnt i check at the beginning when we were told to check the no of pages. i didnt know how to answer. i really didnt even THINK of just TURNING the friggin paper to the last pg.
OHH.MAH.GAWWWWWWSH
whats freaking wrong with ME!!!

and i thought once was bad enough. it had to happen twice in 3 days.
my heart's been aching at my stupidity.
i wish i could blame it on my deteoriating eyesight, but i highly doubt it was a physical thing.
i think its just my intelligence.
im so smart, eh.

for others, this exam's been pretty mad too i guess.
my dear friend was still at home when i called her at 735am, before the 8am econs paper cos she thought it was an afternoon paper. and apparently im not the only one who's been failing to read instructions cos i so far know of two classmates who've also done more questions than they ought to, for phy and chem.
but so far im still the only one who's done LESS than what i ought to have,just because i didnt flip a page.
ah. exams.
im so screwed for this one i cant bear to get the results back.
i sure hope the rest of the papers wont be as hard, and i dont do something really idiotic, again!!

phew. this has been such an emotive piece.

oh well, everyone (the 2 or 3 people who still visit my blog anyway), PLEASE learn from me and dont be like me. bring everything u're supposed to bring, read instructions, dont be late, check ur venue carefully and flip ur papers well.
goodluck to u all who're midway through prelims yeah. thankgoodness we're midway.
& to those who've weeks left to ur prelims, mug hard too. and dont screw up big time like me.
break a leg! but not literally.


<3.

Labels: life